…is what’s on the lips, smeared in the mustaches and dribbled on our cafe long-table.

This menu item started with a phone call from one of our regulars…

It seems they had a cow that developed an attitude. She was a fine looking animal with an excellent pedigree. Then, that’s where her appeal ended. Her first calf needed to be pulled, which is annoying, but not a deal-breaker. But, mama wasn’t much interested in him after that. Every time folks went to assist the little one, she’d try to kill the helper. The disagreements between cow and caretaker got louder and more vigorous as time went on. A short time later, the calf died.

We’ll leave it to your imagination as to how her name came about.

Sometimes it’s better if rancher and cow part company sooner rather than later. Rather than pass along a problem animal to another outfit, they thought it was better if she could give her all and benefit the community.

That’s when our cook got a call and said there’d soon be a beef available, were we interested?

“Well, sure,” she said and they hammered out the details.

A short time later, we offered a ‘special’ on Flaming Bitch Chili and the story got around our community. The locals flocked to the cafe for a taste of what became of a cow who refused to work with people. They announced she was much more agreeable in a bowl than she ever was in the pen. For the next few weeks there was much smacking-of-lips, nudging of elbows and knowing grins around the long-table for as long as that beef lasted.

If you’d like to try this cafe recipe, you’re welcome to it, but you’ll need to find your own flaming bitch:

2cup–black beans, soaked and rinsed
1 lb.–ground flaming bitch or ground beef, whichever is closer to hand
1/2–onion, chopped
1 stalk–celery, chopped
6—tomatillos, pealed and chopped
2—large tomatoes, chopped
2—cloves garlic, minced
2—jalapenos, [seeded] fresh or dried and minced
3 or 4cup–water as needed to cook beans
1/4cup–molasses or to taste
1/4cup–cider vinegar or to taste
Salt and pepper, to taste

In a large dutch oven brown the burger, add all other ingredients, add water, cover and bring to a slow boil.  Reduce heat, and let it simmer until beans are done.  Stir occasionally and check for liquid and adjust seasonings top taste. 

If you’re interested in experimenting, try putting in a couple of seeded and minced jalapenos or toasted whole kernel corn or bacon bits, preferably from bacon you fried yourself.

Enjoy your meal and let us know if you have any other interesting versions.

We’ll talk again…

Editor’s Note

You don’t need a flaming bitch or any sort of a crazy cow to make this chili. It can be just as good with a normal cow. If you’re cooking the same quantities as our cafe regulars expect, then give your local rancher a call and ask if they have any beef for sale. It usually comes in a quarter, half or whole. You can support your local community and have a better idea of exactly what you’re eating.

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